ERROR MODE...

ERROR MODE
Show me the hole; I will fill it, which is filled!
But there is an Error, Errors in fact
A constitutional Error, Peace accord errors
Swearing in errors, Structural errors
Tactical errors, Ego errors

Can we solve the Errors? No we can’t!
Do we need a new constitution? No we don’t!
Why don’t we edit and delete the typo errors, mhhhhh…..
Then submit this to the irrelevant committee! For approval.
Or is it to the people? No it isn’t!

But 40 or is it 75? Too much tax and huge figures!
Maybe it was an obvious error? From the peace accord error!
Can we Edit this typo errors already? Will somebody please solve the structural errors?
Or is it the ego error, or the pecking order error!
I hear they missed the typo error, But this one was on taxation of their salaries!

The constitution error, All MPs can be appointed to ministers
Standard one, two, three or even professors regardless!
You can not hold these ministers responsible, they do not know nothing!
Incompetent ministers for over 40 years! No negative growth! – Kudos!
Or has there been an error?


Maybe if an irrelevant committee, clears an unqualified minister!
What do you expect when a professor of mathematics is chasing Mungiki?
Extra Judicial killings? Police killing Mungiki!
Or is it Mungiki killing Vigilante, or vigilante Killing Villagers?
Or errors there off? Confusing aha!


I will toss aside117 million project, for a heritage or is it a name?
A name that took us 35 years to rid ourselves off, Nyayo!
Someone is denying, they want to live in error mode!
Professor, what did that heritage, ohh name do for this country?
Wasn’t that a complete era of errors?

She was not consulted; there you have it the Irony!
Professor, your assistants say the same!
Who is supposed to consult who? Or is it an error of structures?
Do they live in Kenya? Do they attend the same parliament?
My ears are tired of’ I was not consulte4d’ or is it an error?

Is the cabinet made of CEO’s and cleaners?
Mandated to make decisions for us? Or is it an error?
New constitution, same old politicians! Any difference?
What will a new constitution bring? What do you imagine?
Errors? Will this political class get salvation?

Same team different Jersey?
With our idiotic way of voting!
We must vote back the same moribund and useless you know who!
Do we assume? Being in front means leadership?
Do we compromise our ability to use our heads? Or is it an error? Kenyansssssssssss!!!!
If you show me an error I will solve it, which is solved!

SO THEY ARE HAGUE BOUND....???

 BOY ABOUT HOOD.
THE WAKI REPORT CARD

So some people in my country are Hague bound? Actually a paper last week drew them maybe I should just name them here??? Fast rewind…and Rewind fast…!!!

Oh boy, boy Oh boy! Oh Boy! So we fought after the elections. Everybody got scared, all the people men, my hood was like the epicenter of the violence, some guy(Read Kibaki) was claiming that he had won fairly and squarely and some other guy(Read Raila) was claiming that they had stole his presidency! There was some other guy (Read Kalonzo) who passed between them, so I heard, never said how he did it. Anyway, so people started fighting each other, burning houses and even killing each other!

Boy, Boy that was the worst season I have ever lived in for so many years that I have been in existence, but thank God I survived. I am a survivor (Read Chizi)!

But some of my boys, we use to hang with at the ‘Base Ya Machizi,’ are no longer here with us, I salute them, they passed on, you know just because they said that they speak a different language (Read negative Ethnicity), some were shot dead, I hear they were fighting for ‘Haki Yao’, sorry to say most of them died without seeing their ‘Haki’.

That is why today I am the only one sitting at the ‘Base Ya Machizi’ with no one to talk to. Anyway early in the year some ex - UN guy (Read Koffi) come and made the two guys to share some loaf and all of a sudden they become friends and no one was accusing the other of stealing his presidency, but the half loaf for each was too small and others started complaining, so they wanted to come up with another combination of a loaf called, Grand opposing loaf, or something to that extend.

So I listen to Kiss 100 the other day (Why the hell do they call it that), anyway there is this guy who speaks Swahili as if he has just landed in Nairobi from Ugenya, they call him, ah..ah….Kalenjin, yes Kalenjin,.. No Jalango. (Did they lack a name for this guy)?, this is for some other time, as I was saying was listening to Kiss 100, they were talking about some guy called Waki and how he gave President Kibaki and Prime Minister his report card I do not know to do what with. We also hear that he decided to hide an envelope; they say it had some names that would rub some shoulders the wrong way.

Anyway here at ‘Base Ya Machizi’, we here that the two, the President and the PM were to take it to the cabinet and parliament so that they can see how their Boy Waki performed. At the base they say that some Mps are saying their boy performed poorly and they want another son to take up Wakis’ job, they call him Tribunal.

I do not know if my MP is among them, I am trying to find out, even though since she got elected she has been, ‘Mteja Hapatikani Kwa Sasa jaribu baada ya Miaka Mitano’.
I here that this report card that Waki presented was covering a unit called justice and as we say here at ‘Base ya Machizi’, justice is a bad subject at least that’s what our fore fathers told us. So if this Waki report card had justice did this mean that the Late ‘Machizi Mtaani’ will finally get their ‘Haki’ or something of sort! As a surviving (Chizi) member of ‘Machizi Mtaani’ I would really appreciate this Waki guy and I know my late brothers will finally rest in peace knowing that their ‘Haki’ has been granted to them in death.

Today one of my old school boys, from my hood, has just called me in a nearby ‘Simu ya Jamii’ (I talked about it earlier if you ever follow the posts..nkt stop asking…), he tells me he is an IDP, in Eldoret and he is stuck there.

He only wanted to touch base with the other boys of the hood, ‘Machizi Mtaani’, he was shocked to learn that they had crossed the bridge, so he registered his condolences. He tells me he is waiting for the government, there is this special Ministry for this IDP’s, he tells me its trying to help them out, but its taking too long.

I ask him if he has heard about this Waki guy or his report card, he tells me he heard about it over the radio, when I ask him what he thinks about it, he says he supports this guy and he thinks this report should be implemented so that people like him should get their ‘Haki’. He is also worried about the envelope and he really thinks that the envelope should be opened and made public. Dayuum….Me like that…..

 I don’t know who will tell the two what my old boy in the hood said, but they will read this! Because he says life is so hard down there for him, but there is nothing A ‘Chizi Mtaani’ can do but register his sorry with him, he says he is out of cash, he will touch base with me the following week, he tells me to take care of the base, we might need it some day!

I walk back and take my position, by now I am already recruiting new members to the base as you know; the KCPE and the KCSE are just done with, so the base is a little bit lively. Here we talk our dreams away, some of us have ambitions, and I guess, Yes We Can

Anyway now I have to leave the base, I have to go hustle, and you know I need rent, food and clothes, but since someone has to take care of the base we plan elections next week. I will be back later, I hear there is a football game later on in the day, I do not care much about the teams playing but somehow I watch it to pass time, with pay TV being so expensive, at the hood I will just tune to the Home of Sport and Talk, Radio Jambo; I might as well use the ‘Simu Ya Jamii’ to call, and talk to that girl Radull; I might as well know the results before the game! I tell you that girl can –predict, try it out this Sunday and read Radull writes. It’s from ‘Corner Ya Machizi Mtaani’ to the fans.

I NEED TO KEEP IT RUNNING....

Wow..wats the use of putting it up if u cant run it????Wow..dam ati tis been so busy!!!!Nah...I cant dedicate!!Nah..am actually rethinkin....Nah I need to rededicate...ohhhhhh....Yah thats it!!!Reenergize!!!!!

Wow the Road back,can see nothing, Ahead can see nothing
Stuck from far,Struck afar
Pulling behind, Pushing Ahead...

Ahhh Damn I give up, Ahhh Damn Stand up
You need to move, I need to Curve
Not allowed, Not Abound...

SO YOU DONT LIKE TO READ.....

This is one of those random you enchant sit down and hardly think about, you just sit to it and write and hoping that the ideas will come along the way. You never think of the outcome but somehow you believe you will have communicated by the end of the piece...At least that is what great writers are made of...Anyway since most of us don’t like spending much time reading I will says I like spending much of my time writing...Actually half of this time I write nothing,..most of the nothings are geared towards a better society..Imagine the last time I did a good poem I lost it in a Bar (That sucks...I never found it)...I guess some drunk read it and it changed his way.....So keep reading....

WHAT IS A CHIZI TO DO IF AN MP WONT PAY TAX????-BOY ABOUT HOOD-!

So am jobless, and I spent like all my time doing nothing at the ‘Base ya Machizi’, I am proudly Kenyan and guess what, I believe in the tag; ‘Kulipa Ushuru Nikujitegemea’, I here somebody from KRA coined up this stuff, these guys from KRA must be good!

Anyway, I hear that there are around 222 guys who can feed the whole nation with their monthly earnings, as a matter of speaking off course. But word is around that they have refused to pay ‘Ushuru’, does that mean, ‘hawajitegemei’. It must be so, because the opposite is ‘Kutolipa Ushuru Sikujitegemea’.

Now ‘Machizi’ at my hood would like to know, ‘kwani’ who are they ‘tegemearing?’
We are eating up our brains over this, The base can report that this guys are like the highest paid in this country, in fact almost in the world and ‘ati’ they have a choice if they want to pay tax or not, I loathe this life, and 'Machizi' are wondering how they can manage to make it there, I hear you need to invest a lot to be able to sit among them.

You know, I also hear, that these guys are really stressed out most of the time, I wouldn’t love stress! They go to funerals! Harambess! They pay for students school fees, they give handouts to ‘machizi mtaani’, not at our base because I only hear of them after every five years, saying stuff like I will…….I will……they never say stuff like, I have…I have….So this guys have stress and a lot of responsibility and wont pay tax. I also hear that they did not get it easy, they blackmailed that Michuki guy, Oh…boy that guy can work, thanks to him, I have used a seat belt within my lifetime!

As I was saying, they blackmailed this guy, Michuki, by threatening not to approve some money for the budget, that was to build roads, and other things for ‘machizi Mtaani’, as well as roads for their cars to use, That would have been very bad, my boys appreciate what this Michuki guy did for them, by standing with them.

For the ‘Simu ya Jamii’ that we operate at this base, the Majiwa guys, speaking of Majiwa, is he still the mayor?, demand from us some Kenya Shillings 50, every week, they say its for the city council to be able to offer us services but here at ‘Base ya Machizi’ we wait for those services in anticipation. Actually we have no idea what these services are. If we do not even know if that Majiwa guy is still the mayor, how can we know what his services are?

Okay so we pay Kenya Shillings 50, every week, simply because we want ‘kujitegemea’ as those KRA guys put it, since being at the ‘Base ya Machizi’ does not mean that we do not want ‘kujitegemea’. And is that a jobo????

Since this few rich fellows are blackmailing that Michuki guy, there is also a common feeling among 'Machizi' that we too blackmail that Majiwa guy, so that we stop paying the Kenya Shillings 50.Here in 'Mtaani' we are racking our brains on how we are going to do just that, off course we have various options, as you know, Yes We Can.

Option number one; Assemble a group of ‘Machizi’, write some placards and march into the streets yelling ‘Hatutalipa Ushuru,Hatutatlipa Ushuru, Majiwa Must go, Majiwa Must go’. See this will threaten the security of the nation and they will send those boys in blue and boy oh... oh boy they will tear gas us and beat the crap out of us. So that will not work.

Option two, we can close down, the ‘Simu ya Jamii’ business.See we wont have any source of income, this wont work either.

Option three, we move our business to parliament, no one will ask for tax and if they do we will blackmail them. See we will need to move the entire 'Mtaani' to parliament, this too wont work, I think that place is meant for only 222 guys.

Option four, beat up the tax collector. See ‘Base ya Machizi’ wont allow that, first because she is someone’s mother, second she is a mother to all of us, third she had been so nice to us when we were starting up the business and lastly those men in green, the Majiwa ‘askaris’ would land in our base and take away the ‘simu ya jamii’ and boy ah…boy that won't be good for the base.

Option five; we have no way out but to pay the tax. So is a ‘chizis’ situation we a have all the rights and again no rights at all.


Anyway my old school boy, the IDP is still in Eldoret, he is calling in, to touch base with the boys at the base, He tells me, the special minister has paid them a visit and she claims that soon he will be an ex – IDP, I ask him if that has any impact in his CV, like if he will include it, when applying for a job or something. He says only if the job has anything to do with; Sleeping in the cold, under the rain, and watching at night. I register my congratulations with him, for he has just earned himself, another title, Ex – IDP.
He tells me he is not yet, but he thanks me anyway, he is calling to ask me if he can come down so that we can consider option number 1 above, as it turned out he is so frustrated and angry at the 222 guys who earn by just showing up their faces into some fancy house, saying a word or two and walks away to run their numerous businesses

I tell him ‘Base ya Machizi’ down here is not willing to take that road, since, there is no water to wash away the tear gas that men in blue so enjoys to use. He is a little disappointed with us, he was expecting to find a reason to come and run up and down, for a ‘worthy’ cause, probably to remember his days when at the University.

He says he is got to hang up, he has to attend to some other business, he says he will touch base and tell us what this business is all about, but he is building the nation, this much he says, and apparently he is also paying taxes at the IDP camp in Eldoret.

I assume my position at the ‘Base ya Machizi’ the Majiwa mama is early today and now I have to pay ‘Ushuru’.for ‘Kulipa ushuru nikujitegemea’. From ‘Base ya Machizi’ to the funs.